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Turtle (Transcript)
(A couple is seen arguing over alimony.) Man: You've been torturing me for years, why do you think you deserve a dime? Wife: Because I use it better. Man: Yeah, use it better on yourself. Wife: I-woah, maybe you're right. Man: Of course I'm right. Wife: Uh... t-take it, take it all. (hands him a bank slip) Man: Sweet! (the man runs off and we see a leech-like monster is on the wife's neck) (intro plays) (we see the kids in Ms. Chapley's class) Ms. Chapley: Would anyone like to explain how this problem was solved? How about you Ms. Dixon? (Colleen is visibly shaken) Colleen: Uh... Ms. Chapley: This is the fourth time this week. Please don't make things worse for yourself. (Colleen blushes, pulls her hat over her face and covers her head with her hood. The students laugh) Ms. Chapley: Par the course... (class ends and Alison and Colleen are seen walking together) Alison: Don't feel bad Colleen. Nobody likes math, heck, I would've embarrassed myself much worse than you if Ms. Chapley called me. Colleen: But I knew the answer to that question. Carry the two and add the numerators. *sighs* Am I cursed, or what? Alison: Look Colleen, it's ok to be shy. That's who you are. We're both weirdos, but as history shows, we always get the last laugh. Colleen: Oh I agree, but I could only go so long hearing the same thing. "You talk too little, you need to make more friends on your own, you didn't say anything you're worse than Jimmy Carter!" Alison: Whatever you do, just know that I'd like you no matter what you choose to be- (Alison is thrown against the locker by Angela) Alison: I-it's eleven already? Angela: That's right twerp! (Angela stops as nobody's paying attention and lets her down) Angela: Sorry Alison, but remember that I'm with you on duty, but by day I have a rep to protect. Alison: I understand. Angela: Anyway, what're you two talking about? Alison: Colleen's moping about her shyness. Angela: Pssh, is that all? I thought she was moping about something serious. Colleen: Hmph. Angela: Look, it's no big deal. Sure you flubbed for four days in a row- Colleen: And people laughed. ???: Those people are idiots. (the girls turn around and see Julie) Julie: Those vultures, those normies, they like to prey on people over how different we are. You shouldn't let those clowns cloud your better judgement Colleen. Master your weird aspect. Colleen: So basically you want me to become even more shy? Julie: Eheheh... (unknown to Alison and Colleen, someone is coming up behind them) Alison: I'd love to stay and chat but *gets grabbed by the shoulders* I'm about to get dunked in the trash can. (Alison gets thrown into a nearby trash can. The perp faces Colleen) Perp: What's with the sweater? Colleen: Uh... Perp: Why don't you take it off? Colleen: I... no. Perp: My hands will help. Angela: Leave her to me- Ernesto!? Ernesto: That's right! I've gotten better since the last time you, Dante and Damien were mean to me. This school will soon be mine! (Ernesto slams Colleen into the lockers. Julie goes to check on her while Angela goes to Alison) Angela: Just like old times, eh? Alison: Yeah, only, why does it smell like strawberries in here? Kadic: New school policy. Given the rising student in trashcan ratio, we now sanitize the cans to lessen the victim's discomfort. You're welcome. (Angela lifts Alison out of the trashcan, then they join Julie. Colleen is very sad and walks away.) Angela: Forget him Colleen. Colleen: Why!? Just so someone else could take advantage of me!? Julie: He's an idiot Colleen, don't let him get to- Colleen: It's not him, it's everybody! It's a curse! (Colleen stops and sobs helplessly. Alison approaches her.) Alison: Maybe you and me could walk home together? Colleen: *sniff* Yeah. What's the point in walking home with anyone but your go-to. (at the end of the day, Alison and Colleen walk home together) Alison: Did you hear about what happened at Curtis Pines? Colleen: You mean the man and his overly generous wife? Alison: His wife happened to be Muriel Strep, the stingiest woman this side of Woodrot. Colleen: Until now? Alison: Yup. Last thing she remembered from that was a pain in her neck. Colleen: Another mystery on her hands. Alison: Bingo. Colleen: Should be good then. Hey, mind if I go my own way? Alison: Sure. Why? Colleen: Got a buttload of homework, and I'd like to get it over with ASAP. Catch you later. (Colleen heads off) Alison: Okay, see y- Wait... Me and you are in the same class! (Colleen is seen in the woods.) Colleen: I know how to solve that problem Ms. Chapley. After carrying the two you add the numerators. (Colleen turns a different way) Colleen: I wear my sweat jacket because I can! Maybe it's a metaphor, who knows? (Colleen stops, sighs and leans against a tree.) Colleen: It's not fair. I just want to feel more confident. (Colleen rests against the tree. The leech from the start crawls toward her and attaches to her neck. Colleen thrusts forward. A ranger comes by.) Ranger: Hey kid, no unauthorized personnel. Colleen: Since when? *Colleen covers her mouth* Ranger: Er... since today? Colleen: I didn't see any signs, and where were you the last few times I was here? Ranger: ...Wait, this isn't the owl reserve. Sorry kid. (The ranger walks away and Colleen remains still.) Colleen: What, just happened? (Colleen tries to piece together what happened, but feels sweaty.) Colleen: Phew, so humid. (Colleen removes her sweat-jacket and ties it around her waist.) Colleen: This feels... amazing! (Colleen feels the cool fall breeze on her upper body and runs out of the area. She goes to the Farghaten Manor and greets the others.) Colleen: Hey guys, what'd I miss? (the others are surprised at Colleen not wearing her sweat jacket) Colleen: What? Alison: Your sweat jacket. Colleen: Didn't need it for today. Julie: But you always wear it. It's kinda your thing. Colleen: I dunno, I just felt like trying something new, for some reason. Georgina: You know, I never pictured you as the tank-top wearing type. Colleen: Well, since I wore my sweat jacket for so long, I guess I adjusted to wearing plain clothes beneath it. (Everyone gasps.) Colleen: What is it now? Phoebe: Since when did you give strait answers to anyone but Alison? Colleen: Er... since today? (Colleen puts her sweat jacket on a nearby coat hook. Damien pricks her finger with a needle.) Colleen: Ow! What's that for? Damien: I saw this in a movie once. Get me a lighter and some of that metal wire thing. (Dante gets both, Damien lights the tip of the wire and Dante gathers the blood dripping from Colleen's finger into a petrie dish. Damien puts the wire into the blood and it burns out.) Dante: Okay you're clean. Colleen: Look, is it really that big of a deal that I'm not wearing my sweat jacket and have more to say than a sarcastic one-liner? All: No... Colleen: Great. Now, what's up for today? Brighton: Not much, we're just awaiting more sightings on this new leech creature. Colleen: Ok, I'll be in my room. (the gang notice a black bump on Colleen's neck) (the next day, the gang are in Ms. Chapley's class) Ms. Chapley: Okay class, I'm sure you've seen, or maybe just heard of this equation before. E equals M C squared. Care to sum this up- (Colleen slams on her desk, getting everyone's attention) Ms. Chapley: You know you could just raise your hand Dixon. Colleen: You double C, then you multiply it by M, for example, E equals 3 2 squared. 2 squared is four, three times four is twelve, so E equals 12. Ms. Chapley: Er, correct. I had no idea you had an affinity for math. Colleen: You don't know the half of it. Dolly: Do we like, clap now? Colleen: You should. (Everyone claps.) (Colleen is joined by the others in the hall.) Colleen: That felt amazing! Alison: I'm glad. But enough praise, there's something I've been meaning to ask you about. Colleen: Shoot. Alison: Just the other day you were your usual self, what happened to you? Colleen: I guess yesterday broke something inside of me, and that something was encouragement. Alison: Uh-huh. Now, what about that bump on your neck? Colleen: What do you mean? Alison: That leech we were talking about yesterday. Colleen: Oh, now it makes sense. Alison: That's it? A monster is using you as a host and that's all you could say!? Colleen: Well what do you want? If it were deadly it would've killed me by now. As far as I'm concerned, this is the friendliest monster I've ever seen. Alison: But it's taking away who you were. Colleen: It did the same for Strep, yet she's still kicking, heck she's kicking and less of a creep. Alison: This isn't you... Colleen: I'm glad it's not me! I hate the old me! Back then I was just a turtle, a mouse, a doormat, nu metal. But now it's over. Alison: Fine, if that's how it's going to be, you're on your own. Colleen: No more- huh? Alison: I liked it better when you were shy. You were a lot less cocky, now you're cocky hold the y. I'm out of here. Colleen: You made me do it. Smh, whatever. I've got unfinished business anyways. (Colleen looks for and soon finds Ernesto.) Ernesto: Hey look it's... Colleen: Sweatshirt girl? Ernesto: Yeah, where is she? Colleen: Dead. Ernesto: You killed her? Colleen: Er, no, that's a metaphor? Ernesto: Uh.... Colleen: Whatever. I just came to tell you that you don't scare me. Ernesto: Not even to fight me? Because if you back down from a challenge then you're automatically a scaredy cat. Colleen: If it'll prove I'm not some push-over. Ernesto: Noon, schoolyard, be there or be scared. Then I'll go after those soon-to-be nobody bullies. (Alison and Angela are present in the room.) Alison: Explain. Angela: *sigh*, a long time ago, Ernesto used to be a nerd. He was my main target, but after going to some self-help camp, he gained a few pounds and now he wants to take me, Dante and Damien out. Alison: Well, since he's about to practically murder Colleen, you, Dante and Damien have plenty of time to prepare. Angela: I figured you'd be more concerned for Colleen. Alison: As far as I know, Colleen is dead to me. (Angela leans toward Alison's neck.) Alison: And no, a leech isn't on my neck. (later, Randall is seen at a booth advertising the fight) Randall: Dixon versus Tobitermund! Underdog versus beef patty! Place your bets! Place your bets! (students place money on the table. Kadic, disguised as a student, also throws money on) Kadic: Uh, I'm new here, I think this fight will be- Randall: Principal Kadic? Kadic: Okay, I have a problem. Just once I want the tides to go in my favor! Randall: It's always a gamble Principal Kadic, just place your bet and hope you'll get lucky. (Kadic makes his bet. Alison approaches Randall) Randall: Ah, Alison, come to bet on Colleen? (Alison places money on the table) Alison: Put it on Ernesto. (everyone gasps) Randall: Ernesto? I'm not hearing this right. Alison: Yes, Ernesto, and I hope he really puts on a show. (Alison walks away.) (at night, Alison is in the basement watching home movies. Colleen enters the room. Colleen: Alison? (Alison ignores her.) Colleen: Look, I know you're mad at me but I just want some words of encouragement. (Colleen's attention is drawn to a home movie Alison's watching, detailing their first halloween together and the first time they met.) Colleen: Our first Halloween. Alison: Back when times were better... (Alison looks at her) Alison: I think you know how this goes. Colleen: You aren't prepared for my new personality. Alison: Yeah. I thought I could hold on to the old you for a bit longer, at least until we're old enough to leave Woodrot. I defended you from everyone because I was afraid you'd change for the worst. Colleen: Oh. Alison: But, what am I saying? If it hadn't been for me you'd make your own choices. You wouldn't have a wet blanket like me determine how you should be. (Colleen sits next to Alison.) Colleen: Alison... Alison: It's the leech, right? You didn't change because- Colleen: Before I changed, I did feel a bite on my neck. Alison: Okay. *sniff*, You wanna know something? Colleen: What? Alison: I only encourage you because, no matter the day, you're my best friend. Heck, my only true friend. I just couldn't live with the fact that I'd live life without you. (Colleen begins to tear up) Colleen: It isn't me. I swear it isn't me. Alison: Promise? Colleen: Yes. I-I'm glad we could talk about this. I'm going to die tomorrow. Alison: You know, even with the leech giving you confidence, it didn't give you superhuman strength. Colleen: I know, and I'm going to pay for that. A-at least I could die knowing my best friend will still be on my side. (both hug each other and cry. Colleen removes the leech from her neck) (the next day, everyone is at the schoolyard. Colleen and her friends are prepping her for the fight.) Angela: Are you sure you want to do this? There's no shame in wussing out. Colleen: I... I don't even know. Angela: *sigh* Good to have you back. Julie: Best advice I could give to you is run until he passes out, then rough him up a bit to make it look like you won. Kadic: And don't pull any punches. I put money toward this. Randall: Ladies and gentlemen! In this corner, weighing at ten pounds past normal we have, Ernesto Tobitermund, former nerd extraordinaire! And in the opposite, weighing at two pounds below normal, Colleen Dixon, who for the record might or might not make it. (Randall clears the ring and Ernesto and Colleen enter a cage.) Randall: BEGIN! (Ernesto chases after Colleen, she runs around the cage hoping to tire him out. She eventually trips and Ernesto heads toward him. Kadic and Randall clench money they're holding tightly.) (the leach from before lands on a nearby buff man and sucks his strength away. The leech lands on Colleen's neck and gives her strength.) Colleen: Wow, I'm ready. (Colleen fights Ernesto and manages to beat him after a point-blank punch in the face. Everyone cheers for her.) Randall: And as the cliche goes! The smallest wins! And so do I and everyone else who rooted for her because that's what we put our money towards! Kadic: WOO-HOO! (the kids rejoin Colleen.) Randall: You did good kid. (Randall approaches Alison.) Randall: Sorry Ali, but you did bet on Ernesto. Alison: I'll take it on the chin Randall. Colleen: I didn't think I could do it. I wouldn't lap this up to me fighting my shyness, but I'd call it a factor. Oh, is it okay if I remove my sweat jacket? Alison: Yes, it's fine. (Colleen removes her sweat jacket and everyone is shocked to find she's muscular.) Alison: Uh Colleen, feel around your neck. (Colleen feels around her neck and finds the leech.) Colleen: Thanks little creature from way down south. (the leech detaches itself from Colleen and crawls on her finger.) Georgina: I think it likes you. Brighton: So... about the investigation. Alison: They seem harmless. Heck, they do more good than harm. Colleen: Can I keep it? Alison: Sure. (Colleen ties her sweat jacket around her waist. She then scratches her head.) Colleen: Oh, I need to take this off. (Colleen removes her hat, shocking everyone.) Colleen: Oh come on, you're freaking out over me removing my hat too? Alison: Nah, just the bugs. (Colleen notices various bugs in her hair.) Colleen: They're harmless. I should really shower though. Georgina: I agree, you smell worse than a chocolate starfish on a hotdog river. (the gang walks off)